Humiliation
degradation
entertainment
curiosity
depression
self loathing


There are words that describe what I feel and these fail miserably at even touching the fringe of the hell of my everyday. I am confused at what I perceive and isn't this the nature of the illness...to create in the mind that which paranoia would give birth to. I want to trust, I want to be real...but I feel that I am a joke...a show for the entertainment of the self proclaimed normalcy of humanity.

These are the knives, these are the blades, these are the cigarette butts and these are the self inflicted destructive tools.

Misunderstanding breeds destruction, depression and pulling away from reality.

We hurt because we hurt, we hurt because we cannot feel and we hurt for our own punishment.