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2000

Venum's father and his step mother were divorced sometime this year. Every since the break up, Venum's father has been obsessed with getting his ex wife back. So he came to me for help because he knew that I had abilitites to know things that were to come. So, he came to visit one night and asked me to tell him if he and his ex wife would ever get back together...by reading his cards and telling his fortune. He payed me a hundred dollars to tell him what he needed to know...and so I did my best. In the end, he only wanted me to tell him what he wanted to hear...that he and his ex wife would be getting back together. In my mind, I never really thought they would get back together but he didn't want to hear those things like that from me. So, by the time he left, all I could do was tell him that everything would be okay. After that night, I never really forgave myself for taking his money...but I didn't give it back either. I was selfish and so I spent the money on selfish things. One of the things I bought was a journal in which I would write some of my poetry. Every time I wrote a poem, I thought about Venum's father...even long after he was dead. Thing is.....they never got back together and I cheated him.


2000

Summer

Me and the girls (the neighborhood girls) spent more and more time together. There were four of us and we all went out into the woods. We ran through the trees, jumped over ditches and springs giggling hysterically. As night approached, we saw that the moon was full and we bayed into the night, howling until the dogs from the neighborhood barked and yelped with us. When we all returned to our homes, we were covered in mud and dirt and smiling insanely. As long as the moon was full, we bayed and howled in respect for the lunar body...when the moon was not full, we ran through the neighborhood as vampires scaring all the new folks who had just moved in. Damian would sometimes run around with us but he got tired and started to cry. I would return home with him and nibble on him pretending to drink his blood. When he wasn't screaming in fear, he was screaming in pure joy. We were wild and unihibited and we were free. The thing inside reveled with new freedom to reign in my body. She loved sharing the summer with me...and I must admit, I loved her too.


2000

Venum never really paid attention to the thing that was blooming in me. At times, he noticed a fire that was coming back and I think his drug induced mind recognized the thing from when he first met me but then he would become pre occupied with other things again instead. I lost count of all the times that he seemed to be cheating. He became very possessive and protective of his phone and would never leave it lying around anymore. He kept going to classes in Tupelo and staying at Michael and Melissa's house...mostly when only Melissa was there. Many times I had cried for him to stay home with me or to carry me with him but he was always happier in the company of them.
One day, when Venum was drinking with Michael and Melissa was cooking at her home with her two little girls, I was sitting there with her and trying to keep my cool. That day, the thing within was dormant and it was just me...sherrie. I had no money and we had no food. I had asked Venum for money for food but he said he didn't have any money. AFter telling me that he was broke, He went out and bought another 12 pack of beer and left with Michael...leaving me with Melissa. I got tired of her company and so I left with Damian and started picking through the house for change. I looked through the car and everywhere that I could trying to get up enough money for food. I went to teh store with the thought that I had enough money and walked to appropriate section of the grocery store. When I saw that I didn't have enough money for what I needed, I started to cry. I didn't just cry for the food, I cried for my broken heart...I didn't understand why I didn't deserve to be happy like anyone else. I stood there and just wept not caring what anyone thought of me at that moment. That is when i heard his voice. I think that I thought he was God or an angel but he wasn't. I turned to see a tall black man who was smiling at me. I was used to be hit on so I was a little defensive. The man asked me what was wrong and I told him. He took out his wallet and gave me the money that I needed for the food. I was so ashamed to take the money but I knew that Damian needed food. I thanked him and he told me about his church. He invited me to visit the church some time and I agreed. Then the man left and I was alone again.

I was done with those people. If Venum wanted to be friends with them then so be it but I was done with that couple. They were fake and I always left there with a bad taste in my mouth. There were just some people that disgusted me with the way that they pretended to like me and then were just evil in their intents. The thing within guided me away from them and guided me toward strength. I felt her moving throughout me and coursing through my bones. Again, I say that I loved her...for she was always there for me.


2000

I started giving in to music..more and more. I would work for my 8 hours and listen to my music. The headphones would pump enless tunes into my ears as I sewed garments and pockets for the company. I had been working there for three years at that point and I really loved my job. I had lost all my baby fat and was very tan. At this point, I had also dyed my hair jet black and it was almost down to my waist in length. I would walk around the plant on every break trying to keep fit and I would sing at the top of my lungs while listening to my favorite songs. Yes, the thing was back and I could feel every little aspect of her. She was free, she was magical and she was comforting. That is when, during all the changes and beautiful feelings that I saw him. It was the first time that I saw Rides Lightning...the blond Lakota.

I didn't know then that Rides would show me the way...Rides would introduce me to my 'other' and he would name her. For his 'other' would know my 'other' and what other explanation could there be. For Rides  was the other to his human predecessor. Rides Lightning was wise beyond his weaknessses but his 'other' would grow to hate me.

-frightened, the horse searches from side to side. He challenges the sky from an anger within. The warrior still hangs upon the horses back, he will show him the way, he thinks. But is it the animal who knows the truth? The lightning strikes again causing an odd illusion. It is as if the warrior rides lightning. The horse feels triumphant. The warrior is powerful. The warrior Rides Lightning