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4/3/02




Who was he. I cannot remember. What did he teach? These things only come back to me in my dreams and manifest themselves in verses. You ask me who I am as well. Maybe I do not know.
-frightened, the horse searches from side to side. He challenges the sky from an anger within. The warrior still hangs upon the horses back, he will show him the way, he thinks. But is it the animal who knows the truth? The lightning strikes again causing an odd illusion. It is as if the warrior rides lightning. The horse feels triumphant. The warrior is powerful. The warrior rides lightning.



My teacher, Rides Lightning once told me things which at the time, made no sense. While I learned to make rain water tea and cleanse the corners, he loved me. We spoke of many things silly and things often not of any concern to others. Did animals truly have emotion? Did the love we felt simply fill a void at the moment? Things which I remember but have no place with others and no usefullness , it seems. But they haunt me, they stay with me here and something needs them.



4/14/02



It's been a while since I have floated out beyond myself-lost myself to nothing. Time seems so cruel to us when we are trying to make the most of a day. There is never enough time to lose yourself to the greatest power of them all-this power which surges through all of us. The electricity of our beings and the energy of everything around us, inside us and the energy of the one true power which is our nothing and all of the one.



Oh , how I long to go there but for now I will just daydream. The distractions are too many and the silence is too deep. The understandings of this may be hard but finding nothing is much harder.



4/16/02



The first day of true warmth surrounds me now. Unrelenting heat. Only the constant strong breezes keep me to my senses. Bless the ancient mother for letting me live on her resources. And the even more ancient father for shining his warm rays of light upon my tired skin. I give thanks to all that floats around and inside me. My little wolf, my family, mother moon whom watches over me and the great father who judges me fairly. The silent sisters and brothers in the deep night sky who wink at me and shine their own light when father sun is sleeping. All and more I thank thee for.