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2006

Summer

Venum had passed his test and he was now a member of the military. He would not be leaving for basic training until late 2006/2007 and so he decided to work as a recruiter until it was time for him to leave. The only other job that Venum had was working part time at the shop he managed. He and Cody worked together and made money as the jobs came...which wasn't very often. Meanwhile Venum would work on cars behind our house in the makeshift garage he had. I remembered doing work for Venum when I was pregnant with Devon. Once he had messed up some door jams because the paint wasn't mixed right and I had to sand off the paint while Venum was at work. I helped Venum quit often when he worked on cars to make side money. I knew how badly we needed the money and so I was willing to work in all sorts of conditions. At this point we were hurting pretty badly for money and all we had were side jobs. I wasn't working at this time because I had quit my job with the Salvation army and was staying at home with Devon. Venum was always trying to get me to go back to work but I wanted to stay at home until Devon could start kindergarten at least. He was just one year old and I was just making sure that I got to spend as much time with the kids as possible. At this time, I got to stay with both Dorian and Devon and witness a big part of their growing up. I wouldn't have changed it for anything. Another reason that I stayed at home is because I knew that If I worked, Venum would make me pay all the bills while his money went to whatever he wanted for pleasure...that was how it usually was and so I stuck with my stubborness.


2006

Summer

I also nursed Devon for a very long time. I remember going fishing and having to squeeze the milk from my breasts onto a towel that Venum had in his truck. I had gotten used to this by now and so it wasn't such a problem. When I returned home, I fed Devon and went about my business. I would miss having babies. When I was brought out of the delivery room, Venum instructed the doctor to go ahead and tie my tubes to prevent any more pregnancies. It was not exactly done with my consent and when I awoke, I was angry. It was just something that I had to deal with as time went on. I still want more babies, to be honest, but I guess it is too late for that.


2006

Fall

I dreamed of her...Melissa. I dreamed that I walked into this room with white walls and saw them standing in the corner...Venum and Melissa. As they talked I walked closer to them. Melissa turned around and she smiled at me. She spoke and I will always remember what she said to me.

"Hey, watch what I can do to him."

Melissa grabbed hold of Venum and forced her breath into his mouth. It was a creepy thing, really. I saw her face turn white and it started to spin round and round like the exorcist. A demon passed from her into Venum and he started to scream. Both their heads started to turn rapidly and they walked toward me. They wanted to give me the demon and I woke up. I woke screaming at the top of my lungs and Venum woke up too because I was screaming. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that it was after me....I never said what it was. I climbed onto the couch and pulled my feet up.  I sat there for a very long time and shivered.


2006

I never forgot Gavin because I couldn't forget him... I still saw him every Sunday. When I saw him, I loved to have him smile at me. And every time that I saw him, I realized that I was still so very smitten with him. He was simply beautiful. And why shouldn't I enjoy looking at Gavin, Venum was still seeing Melissa. Just a few days before I had asked him to stop talking to her and he told me that If I forced him to make a choice then he would probably make one that I did not like...which meant he would dump me for her. And so I left it alone and just spent my time thinking of Gavin instead. I guess my fantasy at least kept me from other drama. I even had these fantasies of him. I would dream of him kissing my with his full lips and I would dream of him taking my breast into his mouth. Oh, I had such sordid fantasies and dreams of Gavin. Even during church service, I would dream of him taking me in the bathrooms, the storage closets and even on the desks in the pastor's office. I was so bad.


2006/2007
Winter

The time had drawn near for Venum to leave for Basic training. I had mixed emotions but I sincerely loved him. I cannot say if the love was the same as before, but I knew that I wished him well and that I would miss him. I remember the day that he left and that he downloaded some music to his computer to listen to. It was a song by staind that we listened to when he left. We drove to Memphis and listened to that song, we drove to the building where Venum would be getting on the bus and we listened to that song again. We listened to that song and I cannot remember the name...but we both liked it really well. When he left that day and I watched him get on the bus with his fatigues on, I kept listening to that song over and over to remind me that I loved him...I know it sounds silly but it helped me in ways. I didn't want him to go and I did not know what I would do without him. AFter he left, I cried... and then I slept for a whole day.