110

2001

winter

I didn't care anymore what he did to me. As his friends came over, they said hello to Venum and hello to "Ms. Venum" or it was "Venum's wife." I had no identity and I knew that was how it had always been and always would be. And so, I changed...I folded inward on myself and with Spirit. She pulled me under her little wing and whispered into my ear of how things were to be and how they should be. She sneared and hissed at Venum as he fell asleep in the yard after being drunken for hours. She would push him out of bed when he would swear and cuss me for being a whore...when he was the whore himself.

I passed through the house like a ghost, I fed Damian and then walked away to stare into the sky at the clouds that scudded by. I knew what was happening to me but I could not describe it exactly. I knew...oh I knew that I was putting Venum in the back of my mind and that if we didn't do something soon, our relationship would be dead.


2002

Winter

My job ended and I was to spend the summer at home before going to school. I decided to keep my mind together and to focus on things that matter...like my soul.

I played with Damian and ran through the yard with the dogs. I loved the passion of my heart and the beauty of everything around me.


2002

Spring was coming and I kept reading the books that i had taken from George. Things were odd between me and George and he started to stalk me at times....passing by my house and calling the phone. I didn't call him anymore but I had promised to take him to school when school started. He agreed and said that he did need a ride to school.

And my thoughts changed....no one mattered anymore but Damo and maybe the animals I seen and talked to. Was I going insane? I think maybe I had already arrived there and now I was getting comfortable.