94

1997

June

It was our one year anniversary and we celebrated on the road. I had dyed my hair blonde for a difference and maybe just because I was going on a trip. Venum would still turn and laugh at me because he had never seen me with blonde hair before. He thought it was hilarious. I would just try to ignore his teasing. I mostly slept while he drove because he insisted that he would drive the whole way up. I remember passing Jackson Tn vaguely because I woke up to the sound of the radio. I looked outside the window and saw the city lights. I fell back to sleep and didn't wake up until we were well past Kentucky. I woke up and talked with Venum and little and looked out the window. I looked down and noticed that he had his 38 on the console and I asked why the gun was out. He said that it was just in case we needed it. He said we were going up North where things were different. I asked him if we would get in trouble for having it and he said no...that the laws up north were different. When we got close to Ohio, Venum got sleepy. I asked him if he wanted to get a hotel and he said that it was too expensive. He pulled over on the side of the road and turned the car off. He said that we would sleep there in the car until he was rested enough to continue on into Michigan. I was scared to sleep here because the big trucks would  send wind against the car making it rock back and forth. I was also kind of afraid that someone would rob us....kill us. I noticed all of a sudden that I was afraid of everything. I missed the strong part of me which giggled with glee. There were times when I really needed her around to protect me but she was gone now...I had sent her away. I wondered if I had made the right decision.


Detroit

I woke again and noticed that we were entering the outskirts of a city. I looked out the window and seen what looked like just any ordinary southern city...not really all that much to talk about. I waited and watched. Little by little, the traffic grew heavy and then Venum turned off an exit onto another street...then another and then...I saw the city streets. They were horrible...dirty and dilapitated buildings, bars on all the windows and run down stores. I saw women walking by dressed very scantily smiling and waving at the traffic. I was frightened of all this..it was different than Memphis, it was huge and scary. I looked over at Venum and he laughed at me. Then without warning he rolled down the window and began to yell at someone. I looked toward his direction and saw a very dark skinned woman, maybe in her mid thirties. Venum called her over to the car and she smiled at me. Venum introduced me to her as his wife and he told me that her name was Kat. I said hello to Kat and smiled. They made small talk and then she left. I looked at Venum and smiled. I told him that she was very nice and he told me that she was a prostitute and that she had been friends with his prostitutes. You see, Veum was a young pimp in Detroit in the late 80s/ early 90s (a teenage boy who worked in a liquir store and worked prostitutes with crack cocaine) and I always wondered if he lied about the whole thing but as I went along on this trip I began to understand the truth in everything. Venum never lied and I got to meet other friends of his that backed up all his stories. I met a man in an old house that had lived with Venum when he was just a kid. They had sold drugs together and drank. Then I met this one and that one and the other who verified each and every story that Venum had told. His life as a thug or gangster was real...very real indeed. I should have known by the way he was packing. I felt strange in this strange world...thing is, I know that the thing within would have loved it here, felt right at home. I contemplated calling her home but then I decided against it. I could do this.


Detroit

We ended up at Pooh's house (Venum's cousin) There we slept for several hours before getting up and going out again. We met several of his cousins including Autumn who had been badly burned in her incubator as a baby. Because of this accident, Pooh's family was very wealthy. Their house was beautiful and I loved to walk down those carpeted stairs. I met several other men  including Venum's uncles and I sat and just listened to them talk of the thug life. I drank a little and tried to relax. I felt so odd and confined because of the fact that Sherrie had full control of the wheel and it was up the her to be okay. I found solice with Autumn's mother and spent some time talking to her about the city.

The next day, we met Venum's other cousin, Tina. When she firts ran up to hug him, I thought she was one of his prostitutes because she was wearing a bikini top and she was squealing as the other girl, Kat had done. I just stood and starred until he introduced us. I realized that I really liked Tina and I aske Venum if we could stay with her. He said it was okay and so we went with Tina's boyfriend to the liquir store to get more to drink. That night we got so high that I can barely remember what happened. I just remember falling asleep in Tina's loft and Venum wasn't there.
We had to go see Deonte this day. Deonte was supposed to be Venum's little brother that was born when he lived in Detroit. Of course Deonte's mother was not Venum's mother but it didn't matter. We took Deonte to Lincoln Park and then to several other small parks to play. He was 7 years old at the time and he enjoyed spending time with us. He was sweet, he would pull on my blonde hair as he smiled and called my name. I would hold him as if he was much younger than her was. I think he was just so happy to be out with his big brother. I remember we played in the water for hours and took pictures. Then, as the day grew long, we took Deonte back home to this mother. Before we left, the weather had gotten pretty bad and there were tornado warnings out for Detroit. I found it very odd because June was not tornado weather. As we left one side of town for the other, we started to notice damage to the city of Detroit. In the parking lot of a local Coney Island, there was a house trailer. It had been picked up and dropped in the middle of Detroit. There was other damage as well. Signs were torn down, cars were flooded and we almost flooded out the little toyota in a big pool which accumulated across the road. Venum made a joke about how the tornado had followed me from Mississippi. He said that Detroit rarely had tornados and that it was my fault. I just watched the sky and wondered if it was over.

On another day, we visted Monheim (not sure it this is spelled right. Monheim is Arabic) This man and two others owned a store and used to own the liquir store that Venum had worked when he was a kid. At that time, Venum's name was Psycho. He learned to speak Caldean and Arabic quite well when he worked the guys as a teenager. When Venum and I walked back into their store, they assumed he was moving back and going back to work for them. They started to yell and cheer in their language and hug him. They were really nice people an welcomed me without question. While I was there, I got to taste the best Arabic food I had ever tasted...Kabobs. These were not like the kabobs that we put on our grills in Mississippi, these were authentic Arabic food. You see, Arabic food is so very much like Greek food but has slight differences in seasonings and herbs. I learned so much visiting Venum's friends and actually wanted to stay longer at the store.

I got to try Detroit's version of Soul food and was very impressed. The portions were large and the people were friendly. I loved the little soul food joint and i loved talking to the lady who worked there. Detroit didn't seem as scarey as I thought it was but of course I did have a body guard called my husband. I was happy at this moment...with peace. No screaming, no hitting and thank god, no bullets flying. At the restaurant, venum didn't even drink alcohol...just a glass of sweet tea.
Before the end of the trip, we had more chili cheese fries and dogs. It was one of my favorite things to eat and Venum knew I would love Coney Island. I even decided to take some food home to enjoy. But I was ready to go home, I missed Damian so much. I had been calling him off and on since we were in Detroit to make sure that he was okay.

But it was time to go home and I knew it. We slept once more before leaving to go back to Mississippi. I could see that Venum was sad and so I didn't speak too much of the fact we were leaving.