I was more than curious by now about that strange and exotic presence that seemed to come from within me. She was not like death...outside of myself and watching. She was like fire and ice together, she was like a ferocious animal with the desire to devour everything and feed it at the same time and she was me...inside. I knew this down to my core. I knew this because I could only see her in my dreams and feel her hand in mine.
She was my strength when I had to do something unbearable, she was my strength when there was no one there to stand for me and most of all....she was my strength when passion grew too strong and Sherrie needed the will to speak from the heart. She was enough and yet she was trouble...so much trouble and uncontrollable at times. Sometimes when I thought I needed her the most, she would not come...yet, she would wait....wait until my aggravation with her was so embedded into my brain that my whole head ached. Then and only then, she would come to me and tell me why....I was wrong.
and she would laugh...pushing me into dangerous waters....drowning my in my sorrows deep within the night. I loved and hated this new found part of me. For, it divided the true from the fake, it took what It needed to survive and it made my body ache to host it.
Sometimes, when the mental pain was so much...I would release it by bloodletting. Sometimes when that didn't work, I would writhe in pain until she decided my punishment had been fitting.
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