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I met Robert and he seemed like a very nice man. He was very professional about what he did and very stern about his rules. I learned what each girl specialized in but will not indulge you with details. I will say that some were dominant female dancers and some were submissive ones. When we arrived at Robert's office we were all dressed in sexy outfits. They were going to see if Robert would let me work for him too. I was very excited about it and just couldn't keep still. We all gathered in the front room and each had a Mike's Hard lemonade to loosen up. Robert came in and introduced himself to me and then set forth telling me about the business.

To make a long story short, I was to take a topless picture for my profile. Then I was to train with the other girls. I was never to have sex with the customer and I was definitely too new to do dominant shows. Robert said that I would be good as a young virgin dancing girl. He said the men would really go for that sort of thing. I was very dissapointed by this and wanted to argue with him. My rebelious nature tried so hard to set in and set him straight but I kept quiet. The rest of the meeting went along fairly uneventful and I zoned out. Nasha kept asking me what was wrong but I just said nothing and smiled at her. Something inside of me wanted to own that room, take control and do as I pleased but I just held that feeling down until I left. I told Nasha that I needed time alone and so I drove out to the river to brood. My thoughts were rampant...my swirling brain just could not keep still. HOw could he expect me to dance as an innocent girl? The last thing I wanted to do was play the victim to some old coot in his midtown mansion while he shot up with heroine or snorted cocaine. I threw rocks into the water and fumed.

 That is when I saw him, a boy, not much older than me...he was starring. I was boiling inside...boiling with something that felt alien to me. It was anger but it was something more. I got up and walked toward the boy.

"Hello." I said putting my hands into my pocket. My black hoodie was pulled up over my head so I looked down at him from the darkness of the cover.

He starred up at me and smiled. "Hi.."

I squated down in front of him and looked into his eyes. I don't know where the voice came from but it came. It was different...giddy and perky but dark like tinkling dark crystal. I licked my lips and ran my finger underneathe the chain around my neck.

I bent closer and whispered. "Are you lonely, little boy?"

He looked frightened but intrigued at the same time. The teenager started to move his lips but nothing came out. He just starred at me.

"Do you want some company?" I asked pushing the question further.

He smiled and stuttered. "y...y...yes."

I stood and held my hand down to him. "come with me, then."

He put his hand in mine and we walked down the river back to my car.


That night

Nasha and I decided to go out together with Joe. We weren't sure where we were going but we had more weed to smoke. I carried my pipe and she rolled joints. We didn't bother to pull over or to roll the joints in her house. We just drove, rolled and smoked until my car was filled with so much smoke it was like Cheech and Chong. We went to restaurants, bars and even to Tip's house. Joe wanted to stop and pick up a friend so we drove even more...way out to the north side of Memphis. We ended up driving all over Memphis several times over. AT some point we ended up back at Red Square and danced a bit. Then after midnight we drove down by the river to get high again. I will never forget how we saw the moon that night and swore that it was turning into blood. It was so bright red and huge that we chased it along the river, trying to get glimpses of the heavenly body between the warehouses and delapitated buildings that skirted the river. About an hour later, it started to rain and I had to turn on my windsheild wipers. When the wipers would swipe the windsheild to and fro I could have sworn that I heard them say..."Odin."

For a long period of time we listened in awe at the prophecy coming from my windsheild wipers. I thought of Gina, my Norwegian ex girlfriend, and wondered if she had a message for me. A cop stopped at the stop sign across from us. I took a hit from the joint, passed it and then passed the cop. He never turned back to follow us.


The last night with Nasha

I was leaving and I would miss Nasha. I wanted to talk to her about Matt but she kept insisting that she did not feel like talking about him anymore. I told her that I visited his grave quite often and she said nothing. I gave her a hug and told her that I was not interested in working for Robert.. I never told her that I was going out on my own to do the same thing when she fell asleep..she would be angry with me. I found no reason to have any mediary involved in such a business, why it was just too easy to accomplish on my own. That thing inside would take over and like a radar it would zone in on those who wished for what I could provide. I smiled with secret knowledge of what I had accomplished the night before and never even soiled myself. I checked the time and remembered something I had to do. I kissed Nasha and told her goodnight.


At the Mansion

I arrived around midnight and knocked at the back door. Mr. Karns let me in and locked the door behind me. He led me up the stairs and showed me to the bathroom where I could change. I looked in the mirror and wondered if I could I do this. I freshened my make up and pulled on my fishnets. I secured my bodice tightly and adjusted my mask. I waited...waited for that unknown feeling to take over, because Sherrie was just too nervous and scared to do this thing. I started talking to myself under my breath because I was petrified. I checked to make sure I did have things that I needed for protection. I slid a knife into my bodice and secured my pepper spray in my bag underneathe the sink. I twirled my hair like Kathy did in school and I waited.

"Come on.....where are you??"