51

I knew you would go...this world was just too small for your ambition.

12/23/1993




The drive, for the most part was boring. Moving through the swamp lands and into the delta, the scenary was too familiar to us. So many times of visiting the Big Easy brought about memories of landmarks we recognized as we headed back home. Sometimes we detoured to pass by the crossroads near Clarksdale. Other landmarks we visited and we ate at the little cafes in the various small towns. The drive back home was usually quite boring without our stops in the little unusual lesser known tourist spots.



As we entered a long stretch of interstate several hundred miles south of Oxford, I started to feel sick. I moved around in my seat and tried to settle my stomach. My brother offered to stop and get a drink, I declined. Something wasn't right.



The clouds overhead threatened to part but never quite lived up to their promise. They kept the land cool with hints of snow fall. I stared into the dark clouds and felt like I was going to float away.



That is when it happened. As I glanced across the median, everything stopped moving. The cars on their opposite travel stopped in their tracks. I looked at the clock on the radio. It said 2:30. Then in seconds the cars began to so backwards. I looked at my brother and he looked at me. The cars stopped and then began to move forward again. Although it seemed like minutes, it was only seconds and everything was back to normal. I gasped.



"Did you see that?" I asked as my stomach churned horribly.



12/23/1993-nightfall



That night Nasha stopped by my parent's house. Me and my brother were busy unpacking our things and settling down to watch a movie. I heard her sweet voice as she came around the corner of my old room. She sat down and began to tell us her plans of starting her life over-without Matt. I was devastated, but quietly pleased. I had mixed emotions, I loved Nasha but I loved Matt as well. I hugged her and offered my support. she noticed my red and white beaded necklance and complimented me on it. Her smile was soft and sweet and her eyes glazed over.



"I am in love with someone else, Sherrie. I met this guy named Michael." Nasha blushed and waited for my reaction.



My smile dropped but I replaced it with a fake one. I offered her my fake support and told her that I was tired.



Nasha left and I told my brother I didn't feel like a movie. As I slept, I dreamed of Haile Salasie.



12/24/993



I awoke to my father calling my name. I drifted in and out of sleep until I could fully understand what he was saying to me. He called me and called me then left for a while. When he returned, I was rubbing my eyes and trying to focus on his face. I finally heard him speak.



"Sherrie, Matt killed himself yesterday. He hung himself over at that old house."



It didn't quite register with me at first, so I questioned him further.



"What? When?"



My father exhaled and tried to hide his discomfort and grief. "I said, Matt killed himself yesterday, around 2 or 3 in the afternoon."



I lay my head back down and stared at the ceiling. I was still in shock.



"I need to sleep some more, daddy."