69

August 1994
Apparently, there was a baby born the day of mine and Venum's first date. Of course, somewhere, there is a baby born every hour...but this baby had a significance. Venum's daughter was born on August the 17, 1994...her name is Aaliyah. I remember the conversation that we had a couple days before her birth. He had said that this woman he had sex with claimed that the baby was his but he was not sure. Now she was a couple weeks old and her mother was wanting Venum to see the child.
That day when me and Venum lay upon my living room floor talking about all sorts of things, he brought it up. He started to talk about his daughter and I couldn't control my temper. It was a silly thing, I know that now..this temper at that moment..but I was irritated.
"YOu know, I don't want to be with a man who has children. I am only 19 years old." I said with an attitude.
Venum looked at me. I know he looked at me but I do not remember what look was upon his face...and he spoke. "I am still not sure if she is mine or not but I was thinking about going to see her."
This irritated me further because I was a selfish bitch at the moment and lots of moments actually. "Well, you can leave me out of it...I mean it. Or better yet, It's me or the child. You are the one who couldn't keep his pants up when you was drinking."
I rose from my spot beside him and stood. That giddy thing came for a moment then turned dark...it was a feeling that I was not accustomed to. That being, that force inside me grew emmense and just stood staring down at Venum. Then in a swift turn on my heel, that thing inside sent me out the front door and plopped down on the porch.
The thing inside did not want to share its attention. That thing was angry and wasn't letting the sweet and charitable Sherrie come through at the moment. It sulked and pouted until it went back inside and went to sleep.
The last time it gazed upon Venum, it saw him drinking from a bottle of whiskey and frowning.

August 1994
She came to me at work on several occasions asking for money..Asliyah's mother. At one occasion, she even just came out and asked for diapers. I grew angry every time she did that. During the weeks that followed I began to reconsider what I had said to Venum. I wondered what the baby looked like and I felt sorry for her for not having a daddy there. I quietly wondered whether I should tell Venum how I felt about it now. At the same time, I hated dealing with her mother and telling her that I had no money to give and that her baby was not my responsibility. I even considered leaving Venum alone and washing my hands of it all.
Days went by and finally Venum approached me with the prospect of going to see the baby. By this time, the thought had grown on me and I said that I wanted to go to. I told him that I was being rash before that I was sorry for the way I acted. I told him that if the child was his then he should be a responsible father and take care of her. So we went to see Aaliyah.
The visit was rather short but he held her. I watched the reaction on his face as he pulled her close. I looked at her pictures that her mother handed to us and I thought she was beatiful. But something changed in Venum's expression as he held her. I watched his eyes, his mouth and even the way his hands moved against her blanket. When Aaliyah's mother left the room to retrieve something Venum looked at me.
"I am ready to go." he had the strangest look on his face. "I am done here."
"What's wrong?" I asked..."I thought this is what you wanted...everyone to do what is best for the baby?
Venum didn't say anything else until he had gave Aaliyah back to her mother and we both had gotten into the car. In fact he did not speak until we were down the road about a mile away from their house. Then he spoke matter of factly.
"I don't think she is mine. In fact, I am sure of it." Venum looked angry and gripped the steering wheel tightly.
I watched his face and noticed he clenched his jaw over and over.."ARe you sure?"
"I am almost positive. She is trying to pin that baby on me to get money from me."
I proceeded to tell him that I was sorry about my selfishness from before but he waved it away. I am still not sure to this day if he made his decision because of my anger or if he really was confused about who her father was. I may never really know. I do know that he fought her mother and denied as much monetary benefits as possible. I avoided her as well because venum told me to stay away from her. Once she came up to me before I could run away and she accused me of keeping Venum from his child. I told her what I had said before and that I had changed my mind about the situation. From that point it had been Venum's decision to do what he was doing. She then proceeded to tell me that Venum told her...that it was me that kept him away. She said that Venum said many things about me and that I was the reason he would not take responsibility for his child.
Of course, I was growing to love Venum...rather quickly...and I just wouldn't believe her.
That thing deep down inside poked at me and said.
"watch your back!"