14

1981

My anger grew as I moved through the motions of life. George visited everyday and i Numbly let him have my young body. My mind was very far away from this scenario he created. Mom was at work and daddy was somewhere. Daddy could not keep a job and so he hunted or built things for friends. But they never stayed at home with me. My grandmother cooked nice things for me and let me watch television with her until George came and she made me go "play " with him.

ONe afternoon when moma and daddy were home, a strange boy and his father came calling. I remember the way they looked as they whipped into the driveway and jumped out of their truck. Their faces were pale as the moon. My daddy went out the door and I watched them talking. My daddy dropped his head then ran back toward the house. Daddy told me to go to my grandmother's room and be a good girl. I went to her room but quickly doubled back and snuck down the hallway. Allen came out of my grandmother's room and walked to the front of the house. I heard daddy yell at him to go back to the room. The shadows in the hallway covered me as I crawled back toward my parent's room. I heard them whispering and my mother gasped. As they talked very low, I could make out enough to understand what was going on. The men were hunters and they had found a body in the woods. My father was telling my mother that he had to go check it out since he was the town deputy. Yes, my father was law enforcement at the time and he was responsible for such happenings in the town when the sheriff wasn't available.

Father made adjustments and grabbed a gun. He then headed out the door to follow the men to where the body had been found. I was so intrigued and could not concentrate on anything the rest of the night. When father returned, I went to sit my him. He seemed so strange to me...distant and alien. I smiled up at him and lay my head on his shoulder. After some time, I heard him tell my mother that he had to go back out the same night.

I wanted to go with my father. I wanted to see what he saw. As men gathered in the yard to continue the search for the body, I went up to my daddy and tugged at his sleeve.

"Can I go with you?" I asked. I was surprised when he said...

"sure"


1981

Only parts of the body were found at a time. A foot, an arm and then the rib cage. It was like an alien world in those woods that night. I beleive my brother went with us too...I cannot remember...I was just so enamored by the whole ordeal. Curious and wanting to see more. I did remember seeing a sock with something in it. Yes, it was a foot. I can still remember the way my father sounded when he found that sock. I can remember the air coming from his lungs as the sadness welled up inside.

They all knew...deep down...they knew who the body belonged to. Some time before a teenage boy had gone missing from Falkner Ms. His name was Steve Brown and he was murdered on a hunting trip. He was murdered in the woods across from my home. I tilted my head in wonder at the whole of it.

I didn't really know sadness but I knew finality. I knew that death and his work. He was rather enjoying this and slid up beside me in the dark.

"seeeee....see, this is how you end a dispute." I was confused

but death was not...



ref:  facts detailing incidents from the true story about Steve Brown and Mike Miskely,  see the motion picture, Deperate for love with Christian Slater.



Cami tried to bully me only once again. One time at school, I was staying inside the first grade classroom because I wanted to be alone. I preferred to be by myself at odd times as those. I was quietly freaking out and trying to fit the peices of the weirdness together. She came inside with a very big girl; I know this girl was twice her size. She spied me sitting in the corner of the classroom. I turned to see her smirk and then laugh. I do not know where her courage came from but she pulled if forth and spoke to me in authority. I remember her words like they were words spoken to me an hour ago.

"You are not allowed to be in here during recess." She spoke confidently.

I am sure she was not afraid because of the large girl at her side. I rose and walked over to her and looked into her face. Her smile dissapeared but she gathered some fool courage regardless.

"You heard me." Then she pushed me.

ONe push, one push is all it took for me to ignite. I say ignite because that is the only possible way to explain what occured in my brain. I grabbed her and went blank. Blackness devoured me. I could not see, I could not feel or hear anything. My vision cleared and I saw her there. Three rows of desks were turned over and she was crumpled in the midst of them. she screamed and cried horribly. I looked around and saw the big girl cower from me. The door swung open and our teacher stormed into the room. She was very angry and she scanned the room and all the damage. ONe of the desks was broken and Cami's lip was bleeding. I backed away timidly and held my hands to my mouth. The teacher glanced at Cami crumpled on the floor crying and walked briskly toward me. I knew I was in a world of trouble based on how Ms. Graves looked. She smoldered then slowly started to smile.

She took my arm and led me out the other door into the hallway.

She looked into my face and smiled sweetly, then she spoke.

"Sherrie, I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself." She rubbed my face. "But you need to go clean that mess up in there...NOw." She frowned then turned to walk away.

I had no thoughts but I heard laughter from somewhere behind me. Death spoke again

"Almost there...now just a little harder. Kill her."

I had enough of him. I hated death and I wanted him to go away. I screamed.

"Go away!!!!!! Leave me alone!!! I will not do it! It's wrong!"  

I wept