4

I recall my daddy holding me in his arms. I remember seeing the store building and how it was built up from the red clay dirt. And I remember how proud my father was at what he had built. With very little help, he built the whole building and I knew he had lots of pride invested in his creation.

I remember finding a butterfly that had a broken wing but it was still alive. I carried it with me in my hand as I walked down the hill to where my father was preparing the cylinder blocks for the store. He was laying the foundation. I remember walking around the area looking at everything and my father watched me making sure that I did not get hurt. I felt bad for the wounded butterfly so I placed it inside a hole in one of the cylinder blocks. I thought it would be safe here and it would heal itself. I went and played elsewhere and forgot about the butterfly.

I remember some time later, I noticed that my father had completed the floor of the building. I remembered that the butterfly was in the cylinder block and I immediately panicked. I ran to daddy and told him about the butterfly and said that we had to go and get it out of the block. It was too late, the floor had been built over the butterfly and surely it would die. I cried for the butterfly.

I remember eating dandelions by the back porch steps while momma washed dishes. I remembered that they did not taste very good.

I vaguely remember all the dirt that I played in when they reconstucted the road in front of the house.
I remember kindergarten and how a lunchlady actually told me that apple juice was urine and I got sick and went to the bathroom.

I remember pictures of purple dinasaurs, maps and tunnels underneath the trailer that was used for the headstart building.

I remember one time I had a doctor's appointment and afterwards, my daddy took me to the store and bought me a tea set. It was complete with tea pot, saucers, cups and eating utencils. Then he took me to headstart and told me to be good at school and that I could get my tea set when I got home. That was a happy time in my life.

I remember having a swing set

I remember my cousins Karen, Sharon and Frieda playing with me when I was very very young. They were nice then....well except for the time that Freida thought it would be funny to break the leg off my barbie just to watch me cry. That was mean.

Why is early life  made up of so many fragments? It seems to be as if something was broken that we desperately try to put back together with so many missing parts. The above scenaries are parts that I have trouble filling in the gaps with and they fall as they have fallen in my memory...broken and unbalanced, even sometimes placed out of order in the time machine of my mind.