7

1978

I remember the trailer that we lived in; my brother, mother, father and me. It was a single wide deal behind my grandmother's house. We had puppies and dogs and cats which ran round our trailer and played. One thing that sticks in my mind is walking from my grandmother's house back to the trailer with a plate of green sweet peas. As a very young girl, I loved sweet peas. I remember that mother was hanging out sheets on the clothes line as I walked back to the trailer to eat. Our trailer was very old and falling apart. I cannot even remember my room. So, at some point we got rid of the trailer and moved into the house with my grandmother; and there I was raised.

My cousin George always came to my grandmother's house to play with my brother Allen and to eat whatever my grandmother cooked. At first he only smiled at me and tickled me every once in a while. It didn't take him long to start picking me up and carrying me around like a toy. I just remember somewhere along the way, when I was just about 4 or 5 years old, he took a special liking to me. He was thin, tall and wore coke bottle thick glasses. He dipped skoal and had short black hair. I don't think I could ever forget what he looks like.

After my father built his store we would play there. Me, my brother and George would eat bologna sandwiches from the big stick of bologna that my father had to make sandwiches for the customers. We would play hide and seek and go outside to play war. One day George took me in the bathroom and locked us in. He said he wanted to show me something. He unzipped his pants and showed his penis to me for the first time. I was horrified and started to scream. It looked like a big worm to me so I ran out of the bathroom. I will never forget the look of confusion on my brother's face when he seen me running from the bathroom screaming. I do not know what he said to George or did to him but I ran outside and up to my grandmother's house. It was a while before he actually did anything to me with his giant worm. Unfortunately, he did.

Most might think that there is nothing wrong with what he did seeing that we all played together, but it was. You see, he was mentally handicapped but he was around 18 years old and I was only 4 or 5. He was almost an adult.

My father and mother both worked factory jobs during the day and my grandmother took care of me. She saw nothing wrong with George visiting every day and playing with me in my room. Every day he touched me and tried to penetrate me. Sometimes he would succeed. He would never say a word. He would just sit beside me as I played with my dolls and slowly move his hand toward me. He would touch my dress, or my pants then he would move toward my private area. I scoot closer to him and let him touch me. One day he bent close to my ear and whispered ot me. "Do not tell anybody or I will hurt you." I believed him too.